How managers can repair damaged employee relationships

In a recent webinar discussing the importance of healthy performance reviews, several questions were asked about how to approach and ideally repair damaged relationships with employees. Whether due to a loss of trust, a bad interaction during a performance review, or personal differences, it can be difficult to manage an employee with whom you don’t get along.

Even in a healthy feedback culture designed to encourage open communication and make employees feel safe and comfortable in those tough conversations, these types of issues can develop. Let’s take a closer look at why that is and what you can do to start the repair process.

Acknowledge there is a Problem

If you think there might be a problem, there likely is. It’s tempting, though, to ignore the warning signs in the hopes that it will resolve itself. Much like a personal relationship, however, a rocky professional relationship can go from bad to worse if you neglect it.

To address the issue, you must first acknowledge there is an issue. Only then can you ask key questions that will help you take the next step. What was the root cause of the problem? What responsibility do you have in the rift? What has happened as a result of this issue, and what will happen if you fail to address it?

This can be difficult for anyone to do, as it requires a manager to take a step back and be self-aware enough to admit if and how they are at fault. For example, some managers will grow upset with an employee’s performance or perceived shortcomings but fail to communicate those concerns. The problems don’t go away, and as the manager becomes more frustrated, the relationship becomes increasingly combative and the employee grows defensive. How it started is ultimately less important than acknowledging the issue and moving towards a solution.

Accept What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

It’s important to have a friendly relationship with your direct reports. You should be able to show how much you care for your team, and you should aim to earn their respect and trust. A healthy relationship is not necessarily one in which you all go out for drinks after work; but it is one in which you work together toward the same professional and organizational goals and trust one another.

This has been debated for years – how close can a boss be with their subordinates without creating more potential problems? The answer is complicated, but close friendship almost always creates problems. It’s impossible to befriend all of your direct reports equally, and there will be times when your final decision need to be respected. A friendship is about equal needs, and while fairness is a hallmark of successful leadership, there is an inherent inequality in the power dynamic. You manage people, and at the end of the day, they look to you for direction and the final say on what to do.

For a professional relationship to succeed, there must be respect, trust, and productivity. This is someone who you rely on to get things done properly and in a timely fashion. They in turn need to see you as a credible leader who will always act with their best interest at heart.